Dear Victoria,

I am in need of your help! My girlfriend saw your workout on YouTube and she told me to go and watch it so I did.  I love your energy and positive messages. I have never seen such hype workouts like that before.

I’m fifteen years old and over the past few months I haven’t been feeling myself. I feel sad and lonely all the time.  I cry a lot when I am alone, I don’t feel like doing much, I can’t sleep at night and I am hungry all the time. 

I have gained some weight and I want to exercise, but I don’t have the energy.  I tried to talk to my mom about it, but she just says it’s growing pains.  I can’t stand feeling like this because I just eat and eat and eat and I can’t stop!!!!!  I want to feel good again and get my body back so I can wear all the cute clothes I have in my closet.

I know what you mean about my workouts.  The main reason I made my workouts was to bring some “FLAVA, SOUL, STYLE and a POSITIVE VIBE” to boring gym type workouts that seem to be the norm. Our bodies were made to move.  The integration of hot music, positive motivation and metabolic elevating combinations of movement is the driving force for my training workouts.  SO I appreciate the fact that you felt my heart in the clips you watched.

You are a brave young woman for putting yourself out there for all to see in order to get well.  That is what I want for you.  I want you put your focus on re-establishing metabolic chemical balance.  When your body chemistry is out of balance, your emotions are all over the place and you don’t have the emotional or physical energy to do anything. 

This is just the beginning of what could be a lifetime of mood swings, emotional highs and lows making your life hell until you die... unless... 

To put your thoughts into perspective and not to disrespect your mother, I am sure she doesn’t want you to suffer.  You do not just have growing pains, you are in paralyzing pain!

I will say that some of what you are going through is common because your body is going through so many hormonal changes as a teenager.  You are also having to deal with so many issues, many of which seem to you as if you have no control over them.   It seems as if you are dealing with a form of depression. 

According to the National Council of Mental Health, Depression is a serious medical illness that is much more than feeling “down in the dumps” or feeling “low”.  Usually it is a persistent feeling of sadness, and anxiousness that leaves you feeling hopeless and unmotivated.

Why You Feel Sad

Depression can be a result of several things.  It could be because of your living situation that is unpleasant due to family problems. Perhaps they are interpersonal or due to the relationship problems you may be experiencing.  Another reason can be physical due to lack of eating a healthy diet.  Eating chips, drinking sugary soda pop, or skipping meals to try to lose weight and then a cycle of uncontrollable binge eating are all unhealthy eating habits that catch up with you big time and wreak havoc on your body and your mind.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Elicia, if you are like most people alive, you’re self-critical.  One of the greatest reasons you could be experiencing hopelessness and feel like you can’t break free is how you THINK. 

I know…it’s amazing that the way you think has so much effect on your mental health.

I have a great deal of experience in sports psychology and have been involved in major studies brain and behavior study groups and the findings are fascinating.

I love studying to find out why we do what we do!  Do you know that the average person is negative most of the time and feels like they have no control over their feelings? You are not alone; most of us are always thinking non-encouraging things---not so much about others---but about OURSELVES!! 

We sometimes are the first to criticize and pick ourselves apart over every little thing.  When we don’t like ourselves we open a door for failure, fear or self imposed anxiety, to come into our minds.  We begin to believe the things we fear instead of believing or having faith in possibilities or the wonderful things in our life that CAN happen things we would like to have happen.

Sometimes these doubts lead us to question the reason for life, God, and why we are even here on earth.  We also begin to doubt our abilities and even worse we doubt our ability to realize our dreams. That is really tragic. Without purpose and a dream, your will to perform basic life functions begin to feel unimportant.

Elicia, welcome to the world of Hormonal Management!  You are going through the first rehearsal of “life as a woman”.  What you are experiencing and feeling will come up again at various stages and ages in your life.  It is here to help you find your way to healing. 

What Do I Do?

It is vital to recognize the thoughts, patterns and emotions that accompany them.  If you are able to find your personal solution now, it will be much easier in the future, when it comes again.

One thing is for sure, you are very special and what you are going through is only temporary. Being a woman is special, exciting and highly emotional, it’s a fabulous journey.  I love being a woman and I have learned to embrace all the emotional feelings I have.  Emotions are triggers to alert us as to what we are feeling so that we can deal with what is happening in us and to us. I want you to cherish the gift of womanhood and find your formula for functioning in your amazingly and beautifully designed body.

You Are Not Alone

To show you that you are not alone, read this success storiy of a client similar to you that I helped lose over 80 pounds.  She had weight issues most of her life and she hated herself for what she looked like.  The feelings of self-hate created the feelings of loneliness, sadness, and hopelessness and these are the same feelings you are feeling as well.

Once I got her on a good eating program and she learned that God really did love her regardless of what she thought of herself, she soon began to let go of the negative self-talk. She even made a list of positive affirmations and keeps a food/mood journal. 

She began to work out and listen to music that made her feel good.  And you should have seen how fast fat weight began to disappear from her body.  Once she started working out, it not only gave her energy, it made her feel more empowered.  The right movement releases endorphins into our blood stream. Endorphins are a Hormonal chemical produced by the brain when we exert energy.  They make us “feel good” and this feeling gives us a senses of peace and well being about life and joy that can bring about hope and positive thinking. 

Once my client got to the stage of feeling good, her motivation increased and the depression and hopelessness. When she felt good about herself, she made new friends, got fired up and became a great sports athlete and found her formula for thriving in womanhood.

She looks absolutely stunning from the inside out. She has been where you are and she is a living, walking role model for you. You can beat these blues, Elicia.

Also, to show you that not only teenagers feel lonely about life, I read that even Usher has had to deal with ill feelings over family, relationship breakups, and trying to live a life despite the celebrity glamour.  Just because they have the bling!, bling!, doesn’t mean they have it made! So why would it not be difficult for us too

Get Up!

The first thing I would like for you do is start moving!  Get on a sport team if you love sports.  Do you like to dance?  Then perhaps taking a fun dance class or ordering one of my really fun and wild workout videos is the answer.  The one I am thinking of is Cardio Dance Party!!! 

In addition to getting the video, eating a healthy diet is perfect for putting just the right fuel in your body.  Do you think sassy Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez has never put greasy fries or devoured sugary desserts while trying to keep themselves “bootilicous” ?  Are you kidding?  They probably have felt like you at least three times in their lives so far.  So they probably have been depressed and had bouts of binge eating, but they have found their program and process to stay fit and healthy.

Re-program how you see yourself.  That’s what I did when I decided I wanted to get in shape and make music-based workouts. I decided that I wanted to be treated like a princess, so I started with how I saw myself.  Just look at yourself as a princess in training and put on your diva dancing shoes because you’ve got to Move It to Lose it girlfriend and once you do, you will never want to go back the old way of thinking, eating and limited living.

In addition to beginning to dance, move and see your self differently, look at a good eating plan like my Quick Start Energy Program, one of the best eating programs to help get your body in Diva Condition, are a few steps I took to help myself lose over 75 pounds, try the following tips.  I use them myself all the time!

Tip 1 – You’ve got To See it, To Be It

Did you know your brain only understands pictures?  Yeah, it is amazing and the cool thing is, the brain doesn’t know what is the past, what is present, or what is future.  Now, the reason why I am telling you this is because you can actually visualize or create a picture in your mind of how you want your life to be and you will begin to move in that direction.

Begin to see new possibilities by cutting out pictures from magazines that represent your goals in life is a great way to begin to create your future.  Take the pictures and make a collage of them and put them somewhere you can see them every day.  You can also just get individual pictures and put them in strategic places where you will see them often throughout the day.

When you begin to concentrate on what you want, you begin to limit the thinking that keeps you sad and depressed.  Visualizing helps to create hope and it is hope that gives you faith in what is possible.  An example would be, if you want to lose 10 or 20 pounds and fit into your favorite pair of Citizen Jeans, then get a picture of the jeans and place it on your bathroom mirror.  Make copies of it and place one in a book you are reading and one on the refrigerator When your mind sees the picture and you look at it often enough, you begin to really believe that actually wearing those great jeans will happen for you. Give it a try.  What do you have to lose?

Tip 2 – Flip It

When the negative thought comes into your mind about your weight, a conversation, event or anything negative, school or something negative about yourself, you have to immediately shift your thoughts.  Say a word vocally that will move your thought to something positive.  For example, “I hate myself and I am so ugly!!!” Take this thought and flip it over to something positive such as, “I am a beautiful person and I am getting better everyday.”  You may not believe it at first, but over time you will begin to feel this way about yourself.  It is the negative thoughts that keep doubt, sadness, and loneliness active and alive in your life.  

Tip 3 – Speak It So You Will Repeat It

It is a well-known fact that if you write something down on paper, it will happen.  Okay, you don’t believe me, than think about every time you wrote down an assignment or a friends phone number and you didn’t complete the assignment or make that call.  It is because, once again, the brain has a written command to follow.  You can command the brain to do and think anyway you want it to; so, you can do what I do everyday, you can write out your dreams and goals for your life and begin to work toward them.  Write down the amount of weight you want to lose.  Write down the goal you want to see happen.  Then think about how it may happen.  Soon, you will begin to find ways to make these desires come to be.  It isn’t magic, even though it seems as if it is.  I sit down every day and write out what I need to see happen that day and I always meet the goals.

Tip #4 – Talk It Out

It is always really important to talk to someone you can trust about your problems.  A supportive parent, a friend who will listen and give positive encouragement helps you to release fears that you would other wise keep bottled up. Sometimes, others see our problems not quite as big as we see them ourselves and they may also have solutions we never would have dreamed of.

It is common for most people to experience depression and anxiety at some point in their lives, but we don’t have to be a victim or feel like there is no one who cares.  If you look around, you will find that there is always someone nearer than you think.

Elicia, there you are my precious friend.  Begin again today.  If you have stumbling blocks, journal and allow he problems to flow from your heart onto the paper so that you can deal with what you feel.  I want you to learn how to know what you need so that you can be healthy, strong and in charge of your own life. 

You are at the perfect age to start over and make the best life ever and so is everyone reading this article.  That is the gift that we have been given, the gift of time. Don’t wait another minute; transform your life beginning today.  Take action!  Live your dreams.

God Bless and make it the Best Week Ever!


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